you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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