Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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