if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night