the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine