I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
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I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
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You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.