it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
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I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
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I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night