Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
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Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
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I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.