whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero