Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
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