I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
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