My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom