Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
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I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
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I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?