What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later