Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?