At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize