She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize
