I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I think I sprained my soul last night
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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