Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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