Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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