Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize