Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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