Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize