This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
