their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
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Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
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I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize