youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize