I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
