Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
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We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
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Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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