some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
How's work?
Spinning.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
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The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
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Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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