If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.