i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
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apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
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I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.