i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
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You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.