I never want to see another naked old woman again.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Randomize
