trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Randomize
