I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
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i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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