PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet