Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I feel great
I just peed on a car
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize