I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.