Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
33 Memes You’ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If You’ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.