I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
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