I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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