Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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