speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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