hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
why do cheetos always look like penises
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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