he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.