She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia