At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch