I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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