Your tits are I can't wait for
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
