HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
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