my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize