There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(