What a fucking waste of an outfit
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
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the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
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He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize