this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.