Texts From Last Night

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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I skipped work to stalk him.

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  (414): I skipped work to stalk him. http://tfl.nu/vhpg
  Replies (17) Good night (878) Bad night (3350)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.

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  (217): he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school. http://tfl.nu/g6u7
  Replies (10) Good night (1982) Bad night (4006)
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  (631): View more from New York

  Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...

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  (631): Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas... http://tfl.nu/m2r4
  Replies (19) Good night (6132) Bad night (901)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?

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  (859): How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom? http://tfl.nu/dl3d
  Replies (10) Good night (3462) Bad night (1405)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?

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  (413): Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him? http://tfl.nu/47cq
  Replies (9) Good night (3203) Bad night (886)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa

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  (706): It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa http://tfl.nu/ahu3
  Replies (7) Good night (2198) Bad night (1175)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters

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  (708): They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters http://tfl.nu/nwd9
  Replies (2) Good night (1096) Bad night (670)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am

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  (773): despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am http://tfl.nu/0kp9
  Replies (1) Good night (1232) Bad night (650)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.

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  (484): I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game. http://tfl.nu/ixaa
  Replies (8) Good night (1438) Bad night (521)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic

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  (601): Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic http://tfl.nu/3mbn
  Replies (4) Good night (1095) Bad night (559)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.

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  (250): You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette. http://tfl.nu/i44j
  Replies (1) Good night (708) Bad night (304)
• Favorite

  (906): View more from Michigan

  2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?

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  (906): 2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night? http://tfl.nu/07lp
  Replies (1) Good night (819) Bad night (314)
• Favorite

  (574): View more from Indiana

  Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.

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  (574): Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn. http://tfl.nu/7jbp
  Replies (4) Good night (832) Bad night (285)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.

  (1-916): View more from California

  No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.

  (916): View more from California

  YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN

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  (916): You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier. (1-916): No, it's okay because this is the city of trees. (916): YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN http://tfl.nu/hcly
  Replies (8) Good night (678) Bad night (363)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?

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  (720): Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps? http://tfl.nu/e9bv
  Replies (3) Good night (776) Bad night (217)

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