Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(631): View more from New York

My cock was attacked by outdoor plants

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(314): View more from Missouri

I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical

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(604): View more from British Columbia

I want you more than these girls want KFC

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.

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17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
Read it at the TFLN blog
(774): View more from Massachusetts

there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?

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(503): View more from Oregon

We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake

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(908): View more from New Jersey

And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits

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