Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Are you okay?

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): Are you okay? (508): Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry. http://tfl.nu/ztu1
  Replies (19) Good night (3229) Bad night (616)
• Favorite

  (260): View more from Indiana

  Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (260): Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache? http://tfl.nu/2cci
  Replies (4) Good night (638) Bad night (4243)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  You can't date a girl from every country.

  (770): View more from Georgia

  I'm the captain planet of women

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (678): You can't date a girl from every country. (770): I'm the captain planet of women http://tfl.nu/8wp1
  Replies (19) Good night (5001) Bad night (541)
• Favorite

  (786): View more from Florida

  I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (786): I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction. http://tfl.nu/2rxz
  Replies (58) Good night (1182) Bad night (7228)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  It was just a squirrel

  (253): View more from Washington

  You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (406): It was just a squirrel (253): You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar http://tfl.nu/smls
  Replies (12) Good night (5730) Bad night (910)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago. http://tfl.nu/hd48
  Replies (8) Good night (1046) Bad night (3233)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (678): we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole. http://tfl.nu/qa53
  Replies (9) Good night (2584) Bad night (949)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): What sexual position says im sorry for your loss? http://tfl.nu/sjhl
  Replies (26) Good night (2308) Bad night (741)
• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (858): No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter. http://tfl.nu/lm85
  Replies (17) Good night (3179) Bad night (860)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (484): whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks. http://tfl.nu/9g8j
  Replies (7) Good night (2757) Bad night (480)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow http://tfl.nu/f59o
  Replies (9) Good night (983) Bad night (1918)
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (501): You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed. http://tfl.nu/yh1d
  Replies (4) Good night (1012) Bad night (335)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (307): I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit. http://tfl.nu/1gr7
  Replies (8) Good night (350) Bad night (1104)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up http://tfl.nu/z2m0
  Replies (2) Good night (491) Bad night (290)
• Favorite

  (971): View more from Oregon

  she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (971): she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here http://tfl.nu/l846
  Replies (5) Good night (699) Bad night (186)

Randomize