Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I have fence marks all over my body
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?