Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(613): View more from Ontario

There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.

(613): View more from Ontario

This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?

(613): View more from Ontario

Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(613): There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared. (613): This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea? (613): Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win. http://tfl.nu/1a5o

Replies (13) Good night (2917) Bad night (575)
Favorite
(360): View more from Washington

I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(360): I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier. http://tfl.nu/3der

Replies (30) Good night (4628) Bad night (1681)
Favorite
(248): View more from Michigan

Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.

(248): View more from Michigan

There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(248): Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby. (248): There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction. http://tfl.nu/82qp

Replies (5) Good night (2595) Bad night (925)
Favorite
(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(717): Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon? http://tfl.nu/o6hv

Replies (7) Good night (1488) Bad night (1463)
Favorite
(817): View more from Texas

I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(817): I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face. http://tfl.nu/oog9

Replies (8) Good night (735) Bad night (3653)
Favorite
(562): View more from California

Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(562): Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid. http://tfl.nu/2ztg

Replies (23) Good night (2108) Bad night (1040)
Favorite
(719): View more from Colorado

That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case

(573): View more from Missouri

WTF.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(719): That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case (573): WTF. http://tfl.nu/t6hg

Replies (6) Good night (1514) Bad night (621)
Favorite
(401): View more from Rhode Island

Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(401): Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally. http://tfl.nu/lbqp

Replies (1) Good night (634) Bad night (1152)
Favorite
(541): View more from Oregon

Sounds like sex on a twister board.

(1-541): View more from Oregon

An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(541): Sounds like sex on a twister board. (1-541): An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing... http://tfl.nu/ydi6

Replies (2) Good night (1099) Bad night (397)
Favorite
(859): View more from Kentucky

Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(859): Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket http://tfl.nu/ka4g

Replies (5) Good night (578) Bad night (1390)
Favorite
(310): View more from California

I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(310): I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me" http://tfl.nu/p6et

Replies (8) Good night (1681) Bad night (594)
Favorite
(309): View more from Illinois

Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.

(1-309): View more from Illinois

I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(309): Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment. (1-309): I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college. http://tfl.nu/zbsh

Replies (7) Good night (1259) Bad night (607)
Favorite
(571): View more from Virginia

Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(571): Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter http://tfl.nu/fvpm

Replies (2) Good night (922) Bad night (349)
Favorite
(860): View more from Connecticut

Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(860): Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible. http://tfl.nu/baf8

Replies (4) Good night (1004) Bad night (449)
Favorite
(602): View more from Arizona

OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(602): OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED! http://tfl.nu/4r77

Replies (3) Good night (612) Bad night (262)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: