dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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