Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize