we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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