I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
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He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
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You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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