I wannas sexs uuuuu
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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