Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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