Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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