if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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