omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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