The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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