apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I AM VODKA MAN
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
