So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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